Adoption Disruption, Abandonment, Trauma…

As I’m sure many of you know I’m a strong-minded individual who values the voices of adoptees and to know that a YouTube Influencer and her hubby (Myka and James Stauffer) decided to showcase their lives so the world could witness their flashy dashy ways…I’m shaking my head hard. For all the Huxley’s of the world, I’m sorry. I’m sorry once again a system you never asked to be part of failed you. I’m sorry the very people who vowed on paper as confirmed by the Chinese gov’t and the USA gov’t as witnesses trusted these two Americans. These people claimed they would be there the moment you were placed in their arms. Their disgusting exploits of this sweet child should not be just a news story that gets swept under the carpet, but an example, a wake-up call to all agencies, cough cough🧐, HOLT/WACAP, and all the other big wigs to really evaluate their vetting processes. Someone was clearly wearing rose-colored glasses that day. I so wished the CCCWA (China’s Central Bureau for Chinese Adoptions) would not turn a blind eye to the innocent children who are being “handed” to strangers when an “adoption is disrupted.” Children are not commodities. Our lives matter. I would add people will point fingers to all parties involved, but all I can say is the one party that’s 100% responsible is Huxley’s “Guardians.” I can’t even call them parents. The title of parent/mom/dad is not one to take lightly. You are not given this title because you flew your entitled selves across the world only to use this innocent boy to gain the attention of complete strangers and profit off his behavioral problems. I want to say more, but honestly, this whole situation as it is for many adoptees is triggering.

Granted those outside of the adoption triad will have the take away of “Myka and James” are humans, they suffer, etc. blah blah. I do not feel 100% bad for them. They CHOSE to be parents to this sweet boy. They CHOSE to be parents to 4 bio children. They CHOSE the Influencer life, and ya…the joke could be that the “influencer life chose them.” Jokes aside, their behavior should raise alarm bells so others are being held accountable. I don’t even want to give them views, despite my curiosity to really get a “glimpse” of their lives…According to some reports, they “duct-taped” Huxley’s fingers so he couldn’t suck his thumbs. How is CPS not kicking their door down for the mistreatment of a child? Honestly, their other kids, unfortunately, have to be in the “limelight” and they didn’t ask for this. In this country, and other countries we’re obsessed with “anonymity” of a child, yet this couple plastered their kids all over the internet, on all platforms imaginable. FB, IG, TikTok, heck, probably Snapchat for all I know.

I could write a whole essay, but I’ll leave you with this, adoption is trauma. Adoption disruption is trauma. Abandonment is trauma. The common denominator to being ripped from one’s mother’s arms, their homeland, trauma will find a way to wreak havoc. Obviously, there are services to support adoptees, however without adoptees, adoption wouldn’t exist. Thing is, adoptees didn’t make the choice to become adoptees (obviously the few who were old enough and made the choice to become adopted), but the point is, we are valuable, worthy of love. Too many lives have been lost for various reasons. The amount of stress society places on us to be “well-adjusted” individuals is monumental. The mental health issues whether related to adoption or separate from it is not a casual topic, but one that needs to be addressed head-on. I could go on forever about that.

If we want to fight the system that was made in favor of agencies/adoptive parents that do not see us as humans but mere trophies they can parade around town, in hopes to gain a false sense of pride, we can not accept the behavior of this couple nor others like them. Please do not continue to feed the monsters by watching their YouTube Channel, (I think about 30 seconds constitutes as a view), support their sponsors, etc. Heck if we must, boycott their sponsors. The least you can do is write to them and ensure they cut off their relationship with the Stauffer family.

Ming Foxweldon

YouTube couple’s ‘rehomed’ adopted son now subject of a police investigation, visit here.