Should I adopt? Ask yourself (and your spouse) these questions:
*Print this out and fill it out with your partner.
1. Why do you want to adopt?
2. Can you have your own children? Do you
already have a child?
3. Do you think this child will save your
4. Do you think you will be fulfilled once you have this
5. How will this child change your life?
6. What is your plan if this child has behavioral problems?
7. What if other family members do not accept this child?
8. What if this child does not feel whole or complete?
9. What if this child would like to do a birth search?
10. What if this child does not look like you?
11. What if the child you adopted was obtained illegally?
12. What if this child has a family that wants to remain in contact with him or her?
13. What if this child was not an orphan?
14. How do you feel about original birth certificates
15. What if you found the mother or father never wanted their child adopted out?
16. What if the child costs 25% of your income?
17. What if the adoption agency was lying or falsifying paperwork?
18. What if the child was diagnosed with PTSD and the pediatrician or ADHD
wanted to prescribe medication?
19. What if you received a child that you did not select from the photo gallery?
20. What if this child was not the child of your dreams?
21. What if this child did not save your marriage?
22. What if you lost your job after you adopted the child?
23. What if the child did not bond with you?
24. What if the child later found out s/he had siblings and they wanted to remain in contact or develop a relationship with the original family?
25. What if this child just wanted to go home but could never express that.
26. What if your spouse started getting sexual feelings for the child, especially hitting puberty?
27. What if your spouse (or extended family) hated or disliked the child?
28. What if you did not like the child or started feeling an attraction to him/her?
29. What if there was no support in the community once you adopted the child?
30. What if you had feelings of regret for adopting?
31. What if the child was conceived out of rape?
32. What if the child was conceived out of two loving parents who financially could not care for his/her child?
33. What if adoption wasn’t in the best interest of the child?
34. What if adoption was legalized child trafficking due to closed records, no transparency
35. What if the mother was coerced, tricked, manipulated into signing relinquishment documents? 36. What if
the mother was drugged into signing over her rights? Etc. etc.
36. Are you trying to fulfill something that you feel is missing from your life? What do you think is missing?
If you answer “I don’t know” to one or all of the above it is time to do some deep reflection about adoption. Is it really the best option for you right now?